When You Disappoint Yourself :(

Sitting at the dining room table with pen, pad, iPad, coffee, and fresh thoughts, I set a goal.  I had 3 months to accomplish this goal.  I was so excited about the process.  This was different for me because normally the process is the part that is burdensome.  Not this time.  The whole process of attaining my goal was a welcomed challenge.

Day 1 started out so promising.  Even day 8 held promise.  But, as the days came and went, so did my fortitude.  My focus was replaced by excuses why tomorrow would be a better day.  One day bled into the next and before I knew it I was further away from the goal than before I had even started it.  I had failed.

The worst part of this failure is that I didn’t think it could happen.  Failure wasn’t an option. I never factored it into the equation.  Not once.  It was not a possibility in my estimation.  So, the day I woke up and realized I had not accomplished my goal, the worst part  was facing disappointment in myself.  Nobody to blame but me.

So, here I am, back at square one and thinking back to my good intentions.  Thinking about the first step that led to all the other ones that took me off my course.  That first moment I thought I didn’t need His help. Seeing that progression of events swell into a balloon of failure discouraged me.  Many thoughts filled my mind before I settled on one solid thought that changed my whole mindset.  I was made for more than this. 

I was made for more than failure.  I was made for more than mediocrity.  I was made for excellence because He is Excellent and I am His..  So, I have decided to try once more. But, this time it’s not in my trying but in my trusting.  I have decided to keep my hand in His.  It’s a treacherous road at times.

Don’t try to figure out what it is.  It’s DEFINITELY not what you think.  Seriously, it’s not.  I’m not kidding, you will never know what it is…

Thanks for letting me share.

God bless y’all.







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